Finding me in reality

Bakit nga ba hindi ako ng-Engineer o Accountant o any matinong trabaho kaysa sa Tourism? Ngayon ko lang naisip after 10 years na medyo walang kwenta pala yung pinili kong course nung college! I’ve been disappointing myself all over again and again. Yung inggit na inggit ka na sa mga kabatchmates mong competitive na sa corporate world. Sa mga naging collegues ko na kahit di naman top sa class, may magandang work. Up to now feeling zombie pa rin ako realizing how awful it is looking for fulfillment after so long long years ago. I’ve always known myself to be a go-getter person, chasing after her dreams, and was always born ready.  I always wanted to become an Architect. Yes, an architect. Pero low self-esteem nga siguro ako not believing on what can I do beyond my skills and talents that God has given me. Parang Lord, correct me ha if I’m wrong, na nagagalit ka kase I’m not using these talents to earn a living. You able me to do these and those things na di magagawa ng iba basta-basta, pero I choose to be lenient and choose the middle road na kung saan yung mga pumapasok, hindi na nakakabalik at super na-disappoint na rin to prove themselves. Moreover, they find themselves stucked sa kung saan na parang hindi na sila makakaalis ever. And I agree, I was one of them. 

I’m an average person. Hindi mataas ang IQ ko. Di rin naman ako kagandahan to prove anything. Siguro minsan ginusto ko rin ang magingh artista once in a while. Ginusto ko rin maging Astronaut at Scuba Diver sa ilalalim ng mga dreams ko. Or sa dinami-rami ng gusto ko noon, walang natupad. Walang na-achieve. Ang alam ko di naman ako babagsakin sa class nga e. I am a regular student. I passed all of my subjects to bring ho,e the sweetest grades na ikakaproud ng parents ko. Pero, anong nangyari? Parang nagging failure lang lahat ng nagging decision ko o sadyang din a ko nakausad sa past na, sana I still have my dad who is my Superman. Who is capable enough to provide us a living. Who is able to let me finish my studies and pursue my dreams and be successful with my chosen career.

to be continued..